Sassinate

Dear livejournalists who read this journal:

You are humbly requested to send me your favourite healthy, good for you recipe. I’m just dying for new recipes to try, that are healthy.

Please? Pretty please?

Please note that I’m allergic to shellfish.

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In other news, I’ve done NOTHING today. Well, I updated my recipe blog some more. That’s okay, its Christmas. Oh, I guess I sent off some resumes and cleaned the kitchen. Man, I did do things today. That’s just wrong.
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Today I’ve misread SO many things. For example, on a sewing forum I read “I’m a pretty experienced sewer” and immediately thought of Ninja turtles.

*sigh*

I’m also not thinking before speaking, and am quite naive and not used to blatant bigotry, sexism, racism etc. so, on a customer complaint board somebody complained about a customer at a gas station yelling and complaining about (their words not mine, please, please don’t take offense) “sand n**gers” and I immediately exclaimed, aloud “What the f*ck is a sand n**ger?!”. Brett quietly explained, and I was really quite embarrassed. Good thing it was only us, if I was on a commuter train reading that on a laptop I might have been hit with an umbrella, or worse, or something. Actually, this is Canada, people tend not to beat people up. However, I probably would have been glared at and had to endure people whispering about the rude woman with no respect and probably been told how ignorant I was a few times.

But honestly! I didn’t know! I wouldn’t even been able to guess! I’m not exposed to assholes and racists on a regular basis. Frankly I’m not a better person for knowing the meaning of this nasty insult. Its actually pretty sad that people come up with hurtful and slanderous slurs. I don’t use horrible phrases like the one I mentioned above. People I know and deal with don’t use horrible nasty phrases. Why can’t we all be nice?

BE NICE TO EACH OTHER, DAMN YOU! BE NICE!

So! I haven’t updated. That is because I’ve been kept very busy the past week. So! Multi-part entry!

On the 23rd we went to Brett’s brother’s house. Again, Blaine has to turn the tv on when people are over. That is just not done in my family, and is considered extremely rude. Maybe its because Brett is there and he figures ‘meh, its just Brett’ but I’m not Brett! And I can’t stand football. I also can’t stand National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation or the Cartoon Christmas Grinch show. Of all the things to put on t.v. that is what ended up on the screen. Oh well, its over. Next time we go over their spawn will have been born and I can already tell, by the way she was talking, that Marie is going to be one of those very over protective and domineering germ-a-phobes who’ll turn their child into a very timid, always scared and nervous freak. A bottle of bleach a week will not solve your children’s problems, it will just create them. Oh well, not my kid. As long as they don’t come over to my place and run around like a lunatic and break thing I don’t care.
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Christmas Eve we went to the Mandarin (very popular and respected Chinese buffet Chain in Ontairo) to have a really nice meal and to celebrate Brett’s promotion (which finally went through). We have discovered that months of being on healthy food have caused our stomachs to reject any and all fried food. Brett was worse: the shrimp he ate must have been off or something. Anyway, the meal was wonderful going in but not pleasant going out. I won’t be going to a chinese buffet again anytime soon. Besides, i was really disappointed that there were no black bean dishes. I love black beans!
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Christmas Day we went to my mothers house. There she wouldn’t stop making fun of my purse. I like my purse! Its an expensive, not designer, but still very good quality purse. Its a deep red colour. Apparently thats hilarious and she must taunt me to no end that I bought the purse. I LIKE THE FUCKING PURSE! Leave me the fuck alone. She doesn’t even stop when I snap at her. Brett was about to snap and say something but she finally changed the subject. Its a fucking purse. This is why I can’t wear what I want when I go over there, or get my hair cut the way I want, or coloured the way I want. Because I’ll end up seeing my mother and she’ll just make me feel horribly lousy to the point of crying. She turns everything that I really like into something horrible. The purse that I once really cherished is now just a purse that I’ll have to replace when I get the chance.

My brother has turned into one of those people who think they know everything. Apparently hybrid cars don’t save gas and they’re a waste of money. Brett’s gas bill has gone from $180 a month to $90 a month driving back and forth to work. But that’s not a savings you see. Brett must be mistaken. My brother’s POS 2000 Chrysler gets the same gas mileage apparently. Bullshit. He also said people who buy Nintendo Wii’s are idiots because ‘the technology is out of date’ and that I can get lots of jobs in any hospital and that I don’t have to have to be registered as a medical technologist. A) people buy wii’s because they want one and because they think its fun, not because its new technology. If you like the games that are available its a great purchase. Brett doesn’t want one because he doesn’t like the games on it, not because its technologically ancient because they apparently could have made it 5 years earlier. Who cares if they could have made it 5 years earlier? They didn’t! It doesn’t mean that its a crappy thing to buy if you want one. Its just a fucking toy! b) You have to be registered to handle blood and body fluids. Period. He’s full of complete crap. Just because I technically could perform all the tests on the blood without additional traning doesn’t mean that the hospitals can prove that to the insurance companies. He works in an MRI department and occasionally has to develop x-rays. That is not the same as dealing with potentially harmful fluids and samples. They can’t just train everyone off the street. Anyway, I’m rambling. You get the point.

To summarize:
I hate my mother
I hate my brother

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Haven’t really done anything else the last few days. I did receive a gluten free cookbook from my friend though, so I went out and bought gluten free baking supplies. They are FUCKING EXPENSIVE. And while the bread I made tastes yummy, its giving me a stomach ache.
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I also have started a recipe blog on wordpress. So far I have two recipes up there. I have all my Christmas cookie photos to post. I always mess about with the recipes I make so the site will be great for keeping track of all my changes.
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I can’t wait for Brett to go back to work. Seeing him too much is driving me crazy. I just end up cleaning and cooking all the time. I’m not used to cooking all day long. I don’t eat lunch most days, maybe an orange or something. Making pizza dough, and then pizza and then cleaning up etc. its driving me bonkers. I don’t have a dishwasher! Plus he’s getting annoyed at the cats for running about. Well, what do you think they do? They’re cats, not posts. Anyway, its time for him to go back to work and get out of my hair.

I’m so tired.
So very tired.

More another day. I don’t feel like talking about Christmas right now. I want to sleep!

So, I offered to make a dessert to take over to Blaine and Marie’s house (Brett’s brother and Sister in Laws) house for dinner tonight.

SO last night I made a cheese tart. I followed the directions and there was 100% a mistake. It called for only one package of cream cheese when you obviously needed two to fill the tart pan!!!
So, I couldn’t take that (we kept the partially filled tart. Yum!). So then I made a cheese cake. A cranberry and vanilla bean cheese cake. No recipe, I just winged the whole thing —  6 blocks of cheese, 2 cups of whip cream, 6 eggs, 2.5 cups of extra fine sugar, 8 vanilla beans and 2 cups of homemade cranberry sauce placed 14×14″ square cake pan. On top of my new favourite shortbread recipe (the one in Jaime Oliver’s new cookbook, it REALLY is the best shortbread cookie recipe ever. Use semolina. It really makes the difference) — ANYWAY the result was a cheese cake that was WAY too big for 4 people.

I’ll have to freeze it and bring it to the New Years Day family function, because honestly, that is one fucking huge cheese cake.

To be honest, not all of the filling fit in my 14×14 inch cake pan, so took one of the made graham cracker crusts I store for quick desserts, put the left overs in the crust, added a cup of my homemade dulce de leche, swirled it around, baked it then topped it with homemade candied pecans, homemade toffee crumbles, more dulce de leche and chocolate drizzle. One of the best cheese cakes EVAR! Not bad for something without a recipe!

The vanilla beans REALLY make a difference by the way. Buy some on Ebay. Really. You won’t regret it! I made my normal chocolate chip cookies, but subbed one bean per tsp of vanilla the recipe called for and I ended up with the best chocolate cookies I have ever, ever, ever had! Actually. THE best because I actually like eating them! I am not a chocolate chip cookie fan. So really, ebay the beans and use them exclusively. You will not regret it!!!
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Apparently I’m the only person to which Brett’s mother tells strange but true stories. WHY ME!?
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Now its time for a snooze 

Spend the day baking cookies. Good thing I’m giving them away, because I don’t think I could eat these cookies myself.

Well, i could. I really shouldn’t. I’d have to buy new pants. Bigger pants. That is not a good idea.

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Saw the new National Treasures movie tonight. Not bad. Not an award winner, but it was entertaining. Although I should point out that you can’t actually build a city of pure gold. Gold is too soft to build buildings.

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Now Brett is home for 12 days straight. *sigh* the house is going to be a disaster.

Oh well. That’s all for now. I know its a boring update, but there isn’t much to say right now!

Ha ha ha ha!
http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

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WARNING: BELOW IS A RANT ABOUT SOCKS
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In other news, why can’t he buy his own fucking socks?
He = Brett!

He always complains he doesn’t have enough socks to get him through the week but he doesn’t go buy them himself. In the last three years he has bought himself ZERO pairs of socks. I don’t have any money right now, buy your own socks!  I just bought you $40 worth of boxer shorts because you refused to buy them yourself and yours were getting unpleasant. Very, very unpleasant. And when you walk about the house wearing only your nasty boxers and answer the door when people come calling in those boxers its a little wrong. More than a little wrong. Now you have pleasant looking boxers with nice patterns that fit (remember, Brett just lost 25 bs, his old boxers were falling off and were really stretched out because he bought them before he gained that 25 lbs). I only have $500 left in my bank account. If you can buy yourself $50 of comics a week, your expensive little table top game models and WWII reenactment board games then you can afford to buy your own fucking socks.

GRRR!

And I’m NOT doing laundry every 6 days because you only own 6 pairs of socks. Its a waste of time, water and energy to turn the machine on for 12 socks. The only whites that have to be done at the moment are your socks. I don’t buy white socks, panties, shirts, or any other type of white clothing for myself — I don’t own any whites! Putting the laundry on to wash 12 socks is just stupid. Do it yourself! Buy them yourself!

I should take his Christmas present back and just buy him 50 or 60 pairs of socks. That’ll teach him. He needs socks, he doesn’t need a stereo. I already own a fabulous stereo he can use anytime he wants. he just wants a pretty flat one that mounts on the wall.

SOCKS! You need SOCKS!

I already had to NOT buy half of the produce I wanted so you could have your Pringles, expensive special K with chocolate cereal and other ‘snacks’ because you whine so fucking much when they’re not in the house. I WANT SALAD! I NEED VITAMINS! YOU NEED VITAMINS! YOU NEED SOCKS! YOU DON’T NEED GAMES, SPECIAL K WITH CHOCOLATE OR A STEREO! YOU NEED TO DO YOUR OWN FUCKING LAUNDRY!

Thank-you for not killing me over this rant.

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UPDATE ON BROWNIE POLL:
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The results of the poll ‘what should I dress my brownies in’
27.3% Said ‘Naked brownies’ and the runner up at 22.7% said ‘mint chocolate with smashed candy canes’

So, I left half of them naked and will dip the other half before I give them out (they had to be frozen out of necessity, they’re not being given away until the 24th!).

Everyone who receives some will get equal portions of naked vs dipped brownies. Tanks everyone!

One of the people on my f-list wanted to know more about everybody on their f-list. My profile is pretty explicit in the normal ‘who am I?’ way, so here I will make a list of 50 things about myself that aren’t mentioned in my profile. This technically isn’t a meme.

1. The only places I really feel at home is when I am walking around in the downtown core of larger cities like Toronto and Ottawa. I feel part of these cities. In smaller cities/towns I feel exposed and unwelcome.
2. Because of this one of my all time favourite songs is Under Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I can’t get tired of that song.
3. I really hate the taste the following plants: of zucchini, olives, avocado, artichoke, squash (unless prepared as part of a dish as in butternut squash soup, casserole or pie), raw red peppers, kohlrabi, eggplant, turnip, beet, rutabagas, okra (I really hate Okra). I’ll eat everything else with great happiness. I love salads.
4. I’m allergic to shellfish. Don’t give me shrimp, lobster, clams or any of their chitinous relatives! My once breathing food must have owned a spine!
5. I have nasty scars on my stomach from a childhood operation.
6. I have a large scar across my right cheek from a laboratory accident involving exploding pressurized glass that just came out of an autoclave. At least it was sterile when it sliced me open right?
7. I empathize with hurt, starved or abused animals more than I do hurt, starved or abused humans. Its not that I don’t empathize with humans at all, just not to the same degree. I feel guilty about this but in truth, animals have never hurt me, but humans have done so on more than one occasion.
8. My middle name is Aileen, which means that each of my names (First, middle, last) have six letters each.
9. My favourite colours in order of preference are aquamarine blue, baby pink and deep red. Yellow pisses me off.
10. When I was a child, I wanted to be a comedian. That dream was shot down by my parents who expect that I ‘make something of myself’.
11. My resent my parents so very much.
12. Rap music makes me cringe. Not old school rap (I secretly enjoy listening to Kriss Kross in my spare time). The new crap. Half of these people cannot even rhyme, and let us not talk about grammar.
13. I want to slap the people who are responsible, and those who encourage the making of movies like ‘The Anchorman’. They’re torture. Pure torture. Why do you want to torture me with that crap?
14. I giggle like a child every time I see a groundhog.
15. I never crave salty things. If they made potato chips illegal it wouldn’ t bother me at all.
16. If they made chocolate or coffee illegal I’d volunteer to suicide bomb the assholes in the government who passed that horrible, horrible blasphemous law.
17. I’m an atheist who was raised Catholic. If it wasn’t for the Catholic School system, I’d probably still be a Catholic. The Catholic school system opened my eyes. I don’t think they intended on doing that, but its true, they did.
18. I hate my hair. Its not curly, its not wavy, its just someplace in between. It won’t stay put so no matter how hard I try I always look like I didn’t brush my hair and that I just don’t give a damn about the way I look. Yeah, I look like a bum.
19. People who complain at restaurants for little things such as ’there is too much ice in my water’ or ‘my meat lovers pizza has too much meat on it’ piss me off SO MUCH. If they’ve brought you shrimp pasta when you asked for chicken then complain. That is a valid complaint. But shut the hell up if your free glass of water is full of too much free frozen water or something that is supposed to be meaty has the nerve to actually be meaty. You sicken me!
20. I feel sorry for children who don’t have a pet.
21. I feel sorry for children growing up in small towns. Probably because I would be miserable in a small town, and I assume everyone else would be as well.
22. I feel sorry for children with bad names. Do your kid a favour and don’t give him/her a name that ends in “i” or sounds like a baby’s name. One day they will be 40 and your precious little “Chip” will be 200 lbs overweight and not-so-cute anymore. 
23. Also, I think people are insane if they name their children after produce/food or comic book characters. Name if you want to name your dog/cat/goldfish apple, kumquat, Kal-el etc. go ahead, but not your child. What is wrong with you?
24. My feet are so wide that most wide-width shoes still don’t fit. Because of this, my baby toe is actually squished to the point that it is underneath my forth toe. Yes, I walk on-top of my baby toe. And still my shoes are tight.
25. I wear a size 8 in case you have some wide width shoes you want to donate
26. I will actually avoid talking to people who eat with their mouth open.
27. I judge people on LJ by their userpics.
28. I don’t like to wear a watch. It gets caught in my latex/nitrile gloves at work and irritates the hell out of me!
29. I love to walk through the woods/forest
30. I would love to live someplace where it was summer all year round. I envy people who have never seen snow.
31. I always vote Green
32. A vacation lying on a beach all day is fricking boring. Let me go someplace with history or sites to see. A beach will only amuse me for a few hours then I’m all ‘What the hell do I do with the rest of my week?’
33. I cannot hear very well at all if there is background noise (talking, music, shuffling, wind etc). If I seem to be ignoring you when you talk I’m not ignoring you. I just can’t hear you! If I misunderstand something you’ve said its because I can’t hear you. If you see me tilting my head to my good ear and leaning close I’m having trouble hearing you. Speak up! No, I do not have a hearing aide, and even if I was prescribed one I couldn’t afford to buy one at the present moment in time.
34. I sun burn easily. If it wasn’t for my freckles I could stand naked in front of a white wall and appear invisible.
35. I get lost very easily. Very, very easily. I need a GPS installed in my head that tells me where to go. I hope they invent this soon. I volunteer for the first operation.
36. Mushy stories in books and on tv make me ill and ruin a good plot.
37. I still can’t find eye makeup that doesn’t make me have a horrible allergic reaction. Really, after a few hours I look like somebody punched me in both eyes.
38. I’m really craving tacos. Right. Now.
39. I hate gum, it hurts my teeth.
40. I write (and pipette) with my right hand, but do everything else like a lefty. Including drive, eat and throw
41. I always put the toilet seat cover down before I flush
42. My blood type is O+
43. I have a very strange fear of phones. If I have to call somebody it takes me quite sometime to get the nerve to pick up the receiver. Give me e-mail or give me chocolate! (see I win both ways there).
44. I have all of my wisdom teeth. This is why I’m smarter than everyone else! (Ha ha, okay, just kidding obviously).
45. I’m a very light sleeper. If I don’t wear ear plugs, I can’t sleep
46. I hate cold drinks. Give me a warm glass of water and I’m happy. Give me cold water and I’ll leave it on the table until it warms up.
47. I won’t drink while I’m eating. I’ll sip my drink before a meal, and then after a meal, never while I am still eating my meal.
48. Once I had an old woman ask me what nationality I was (after mistaking me for Portuguese) I said: “I’m an English-Irish-French-Polish-Canadian”. She replied “You poor girl!”. That pissed me off more than you could imagine. Its genetically healthier to mix it up a little, so there! You nasty piece of work!
49. Yappy dogs annoy me, but I still want one. A little Yorkie. They’re so cute, and you can litter train them. Bonus.
50. I don’t own a hippopotamus, but I do want one for Christmas.